Happy St Andrew's Day

The Spider’s Legend of Robert the Bruce


Ah got scunnert tryin’ tae spin
a web for denner,
the stane wis a’ slaisterie,
couldnae get a grip,
ah wis hauf stairved by the end,
no even a midge tae claucht,
then a big lug o’ a mon cam in,
raggety, right dosser,
mair hungert looking than me,
stairted eyeing me up,
ah thought fuck this, am off,
swung like Tarzan
oot the cave on a thread
thick as a wean’s wrist.
Seemed tae cheer him up.

Mair Scottish Obsessions

The Douglas in Spain

(After Bruce’s death, Sir James Douglas led a small battle hardened
party of Scottish knights on crusade, bearing the dead King’s heart.
He got no further than Spain, dying before the Castle of
the Stars in battle against the Moors. The villagers of the nearby village of Teba celebrate 'Douglas Day' in early August each year in memory of Douglas and his comrades.)


When we came, pale light
was a shield on the bay,
the sea bracketed by cliffs
hung in haze.

The breeze brought us scent
of olive, oleander, pine.
A crowd met us, warriors
and their ladies, dark and quick eyed.

We were tanned too,
but by bad weather, moss
and heather, grim catarans
from the nib of the North

who’d brought England to its knees,
and our Lord, the Finest Knight
in Christendom they said.
We were flattered. The girls thought

our mission devout,
but romantic most of all.
Our heads sang with wine and heat.
We stayed too long.

After all these years,
who could blame us?

Shug: The Movie

I note that the hunky actor James Franco is to play Alan Ginsberg in the upcoming film of 'Howl' based on the famous obscenity trial.

It got me to fantasising what I would call my own biopic - in the impossible event of me having one- and who would be cast in the lead role.

I've decided on

Odd Abrasions: The Hugh McMillan Story

starring Gerard Depardieu as Shug

I think I'll have Kate Winslet as Mrs Shug, but don't tell the real one.


Any thoughts about your own legacies, folks?