Monday, October 19, 2009

Last minute effort at the TFE Challenge

Ghastly week, but Sylvia's cheery ditty did provide some food for thought. No title, yet, I'm afraid.

A week spent in the wake of disease,
and the efforts to repel its boarding
then ease its way when all was lost:
the comfort, that he lived a long time
and lived for others. Now I muse
on those who flirt prettily with life
and death, have kids and all the rest
while archiving full time in their heads
the past attempts to top themselves
and relishing with sexy glee the next
successful go. Self indulgence doesn’t
cover it, nor any art excuse it.
It's chaos and fire.
There’s nothing to admire.

16 comments:

willow said...

Lots of food for thought here. Well done.

Sorlil said...

Nicely done. I particularly like: 'while archiving full time in their heads'.

Poetikat said...

I like your deliberate word choices: "flirt prettily", sexy glee the next successful go.
The last two lines have real impact.

swiss said...

i liked every sentence of this. really powerful

Jeanne Iris said...

I sense a lot of pain bleeding through this poem that coincides nicely with Plath's. Wonderfully stated.

Karen said...

This conveys such disgust with those who "flirt prettily with life/and death" - a fitting tone for someone who has just experienced the real thing. Great lines:

Self indulgence doesn't
cover it, nor any art excuse it.
It's chaos and fire.
There's nothing to admire.

Agreed. Excellent!

Totalfeckineejit said...

This made me flinch.Poetry should be powerful, an escape valve.Clearly this is for real, a punch bag for the awful week you had.My sympathies to you, Hugh, if someone close to you has passed away. I'm not sure Sylvia thought of suicide as in any way glamorous but I do feel that there is an inversion of cool associated with her death and her poetry/legacy that is a little disturbing.Thanks for this and again, sorry for your troubles.

Titus said...

There's not a duff line or a word out of place.
Might quibble the sentiment, but that is way beyond the point.
Masterly.

hope said...

How much more praise do you need? :)

By the way, I have received a copy of your Post card from National Poetry Day. Yes, I had a spy amongst you.

And although it is not inscribed with your soon to be famous autograph, it is one of my all time favorites amongst your work.

Rachel Fox said...

I hated this when I read it yesterday... but then I was very tired. Today I read it with a clearer head and can see that your aim is probably as true as ever. And so you're still not getting an 'it's crap' from me. Must try harder.

Sorry to hear it's been a hard week for you and yours.

Thanks for the post.

x

Rachel Fox said...

I meant 'stuff that came in the post' not the blog post. Guess I'm still tired.

Wigeon said...

There's a lot to mull over with this one and so many jewels in the lines. I'm sorry to hear it's been a tough week for you.

Argent said...

Hope your week is picking up. I love the compactness of this, no spare flesh on it anywhere and very powerful.

shug said...

Thanks for thoughts on this, folks. As I said it was really rushed; Dont know if it will eventually make it or whether it will join the deead-end kids.

http://drumsleet.blogspot.com/search?q=bitter+wee+poems

shug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shug said...

dead End Kids